Is it survivorship bias that I hear all the weird poly shit or is it actually that fucking awkward though?
I hear weird stories about unicorns crying when they realize the people that told them they don’t love them actually show they love their partner more, people who get in a throuple then get kicked out of their living situation and end up being dumped by two people at once, people who think they’re being ethical and mature then have their emotions destroyed because they’re not as mature as they hoped.
Does it ever actually work on average or is it usually a fucking mess like it sounds
It’s not awkward if your brain is wired well for it. Specifically: I realized I just… don’t get jealous, really. Like, ever. And I’m happy when my partner is having a wonderful time, regardless of whether I’m there. The main point for me in a partnership is that we enrich each others lives. Pretty much everything else beyond that, I consider flexible and negotiable.
I don’t know, but you hear all the same stuff with monogamous relationships (although usually not getting dumped by two people at once). I don’t know if it’s any worse.
It’s not any worse, in my opinion. People are people, with the same foibles on the path to individuation, regardless of which path it is they take.
But if you’ve believed for a long time that only one path makes sense, it is easy to find focus on the uncertainties when examining a different path.
I’ve met plenty of non-monogamous folks of various stripes (ENM myself for the last decade of marriage) who couldn’t fathom how monogamy made any sense and had a similar list of things that boggled them, just from the other angle.
Is it survivorship bias that I hear all the weird poly shit or is it actually that fucking awkward though?
I hear weird stories about unicorns crying when they realize the people that told them they don’t love them actually show they love their partner more, people who get in a throuple then get kicked out of their living situation and end up being dumped by two people at once, people who think they’re being ethical and mature then have their emotions destroyed because they’re not as mature as they hoped.
Does it ever actually work on average or is it usually a fucking mess like it sounds
It’s not awkward if your brain is wired well for it. Specifically: I realized I just… don’t get jealous, really. Like, ever. And I’m happy when my partner is having a wonderful time, regardless of whether I’m there. The main point for me in a partnership is that we enrich each others lives. Pretty much everything else beyond that, I consider flexible and negotiable.
I don’t know, but you hear all the same stuff with monogamous relationships (although usually not getting dumped by two people at once). I don’t know if it’s any worse.
It’s not any worse, in my opinion. People are people, with the same foibles on the path to individuation, regardless of which path it is they take.
But if you’ve believed for a long time that only one path makes sense, it is easy to find focus on the uncertainties when examining a different path.
I’ve met plenty of non-monogamous folks of various stripes (ENM myself for the last decade of marriage) who couldn’t fathom how monogamy made any sense and had a similar list of things that boggled them, just from the other angle.