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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 29th, 2023

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  • Honestly the listacle is a bit cringe if you’re at an age where most people can be expected to have been on a few dates. There’s a huge difference between searching for coffee shops/museums/whatever else in your area or even “things to do in x area” and searching for first date ideas. The former says you have a structure in mind, but you don’t necessarily know the specific locations, the latter says you have no idea and didn’t think the first source to ask is the person you’re going on a date with.

    And as for llms vs general internet use goes? Yeah using llms is a turn off. I find the ability to write for oneself and process and analyze text for themselves important traits in a partner. What I’ve seen from llm users is that they often cede those skills.


  • A huge portion of the apps is just that. And I get it it’s awkward and it can be boring having the same conversation over and over. I sometimes am guilty of it too.

    But I suspect a lot of people don’t really actively engage with stuff enough to be able to be interesting. I’ve seen people blame consumptive hobbies (as opposed to productive ones), but hell tell me about the TV show you’ve been watching or the video game you’ve been playing. If you’re consuming it in a critical manner you can say “well I really like what they did with the villain here, it really touches on the theme of [x], though I think sometimes the messaging is inconsistent”. Or “Oh yeah I really love these mechanics, it’s been fun watching the series evolve”. Fucking hell tell me what you think about a YouTube video you recently watched. I think some people basically disassociate into entertainment.

    But yeah chatting without a prompt can be difficult, especially when not face to face. Getting to face to face relatively quickly is something I generally recommend people do while on the apps to minimize it. But also like, actually interact with life and the other person.


  • It says they’re adventurous and it says what sort of things (at least food wise) interest them. It also potentially indicates a vibe. “Hey, I’ve been hearing that an izakaya style place opened up, and I don’t think you can go wrong with beer and fried food, you want to try it out?” Compared to “I’ve heard really good things about Ethiopian food, but I’ve never had it. Want to be adventurous?” Or “Let’s grab a coffee. Here I’ll look up small coffee shops a reasonable distance from both of us.” Or even “Do you like Mexican food? I’ll see what options are nearby.”

    All of them say different things about the person and all of them are great ways to propose a plan for a date