If you routinely “get heated” at work, the best-case scenario is that you’re part of a tight-knit team of confident people who aren’t put off by it. No harm, no foul. But the second someone comes onto your team who’s not so confident, or you have to communicate outside of your team, it becomes a big problem. It’s a bad way to treat your colleagues — even undirected or casual anger intimidates and alienates the people around you — and it makes you a less effective engineer.
When I get genuinely frustrated and irritated, when I communicate that it’s typically still with a smile. Dark humor, if you will. I’m mostly thinking of team-external factors, though.
Within team, it’s mainly about one specific colleague’s work. I’ve voiced issues and frustrations, to them, teammates, and HR. Nothing fundamentally helped, though. By now, I try to act and think in damage-control mode. To not waste too much time and effort or mental capacity on their work. Still a waste to go through review iterations you feel are useless and wasteful, that they should have noticed and solved beforehand on their own.
Only once have I used harsh, blunt wording in an email to an admin after prod was down yet again, and there was no upfront or at any point communication regarding that they made some changes. It didn’t have a lasting (negative) effect, at least.
I’m dealing with similar issues except it’s most of my team.
That sounds like it’s unmaintainable. No chance to guard against (severe) consequential issues(?).
It’s insane, I’ve burned the candle at both ends, I’m looking for a new job now