Don’t give Tesla any ideas.

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Sounds like the monsters on The Sopranos talking about their dicks. “I gave her the old suseej”.

How do I shoot photons?

If it’s a wooden door that you’re screwing into, dab some match sticks with a little bit of liquid nails and gently hammer them into the stripped-out screw hole, and cut them flush with the hole. Once the glue dries, you can drive the screw back into the matches and it’ll have enough wood to bite into.