Word count: 126

All caps words: 15 (excluding acronyms)

All caps ratio: 11.9%

Unnecessarily capitalised words: 9

Unnecessarily caps ratio: 7.1%

Exclamation marks: 12

Quotes: 4

Pants shid: 2 (estimate)

Unhingeness level: 7/10

Counterpoint: I used to be a computer scientist in obscure languages, I’m as cis as they come, and I’ve always been absolutely average. Wait that’s not a counterpoint at all