Forgiving and/or forgetting is after the wrongful act is in done, not during, not before. Forgiveness is not permission to continue abuse or mistreatment, which often abusers keep demanding. Forgiveness is fine in healthy relationships, where people make mistakes and often correct themselves. Abuse changes the terms. It is similar to paradox of tolerance. It is a contract. Forgiveness comes with the understanding that the wrongful act will stop and will not happen again. Otherwise they are just demanding impunity.

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