How strong are those spiders that they destroyed an entire castle??!

She’s also 24 dating a 48-year-old so probably not the brightest 🤷

(sorry)

Trump hates space because in space no-one can hear you ramble incoherently

You could say that’s pretty… efficient

I had a friend in university who rolled his own and they smelled so nice. No idea what he put in them, but I’ve never smelled another cigarette that wasn’t vile

Me after eating a hot curry:

Raging high dump percentage

Four properties, max six units per property. She owns about between nine and 24 homes, each of which probably has multiple people living in (just because that’s what’s needed to pay rent in a lot of places). She probably owns the homes of 20-40 people

Unfortunately parliament didn’t finish the job, and another Charles came along. Now we’re up to a third Charles. I think parliament should have another go and get rid of these parasitic Charleses once and for all

The old cat died (or at least, didn’t come back one morning) and the new kittens are replacing him. That’s just how it is. I’ve lived my whole life with usually two dogs and two cats, as well as anywhere between five and thirty poultry. I must’ve went through 100 animals by now, at least 15 of whom were close pets… You get used to it. He was getting old, so I like to think he went and curled up somewhere warm to die rather than anything else happening to him. We did the best we could when he was alive and he seemed to genuinely enjoy living with us, so what more could we ask for in a pet?

Cats can be trained, just maybe not in the same ways. We’ve got a pair of new kittens that like jumping on the table. Kittens are not allowed on the table, so I push them off. To begin with, they really fought against being pushed off the table (understandable) and tried to stay on as long as possible. After a couple of weeks though, they just let themselves get pushed off. Our old cat (who the kittens are replacing) used to jump off as soon as I walked towards him or even verbally asked him to get down.

I’m also training the kittens to be parrot cats sitting on my shoulder. We’ll see how much I regret that when they’re fully grown…

My 8GB 13-year old Linux laptop and I would like to disagree

Just crouch down to simulate moving to a lower line.

John <crouch> Doe

About 80% of my use of Netflix is “hear about a cool film, open up the app, it’s not on Netflix, close the app”.

Imagine turning down $800 an hour because you don’t want to work in a warehouse /s

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Back in my day it was Lynx 2012 / apocalypse / whatever it was called saying that was the last Lynx they’d ever make. To my annoyance, it turns out they were lying. Although I don’t tend to hang out with the sort of people that blast themselves with Lynx so I guess it makes no difference either way

Is that when the crowds have sex louder than the artist’s performance?

To be fair, his salary is “only” £75,440 which isn’t as much as I was expecting. (see below) But he also gets £25k a year in free gifts according to the article so…

Give all MPs a pay rise of £10k and cut off all the expenses and bribery bullshit. And no, I won’t be taking any questions on this one either, because we all know easy solutions suggested by people who know nothing about the problem always work first try

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/ministerial-salary-data/salaries-of-members-of-his-majestys-government-april-2022-html https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-48497953

EDIT having looked again, it seems like he actually gets £170k P.A. (the prime minister’s salary is on top of his MP’s salary) so fuck him, he can afford his own football tickets.

EDIT 2 and presumably 4 years of not paying rent or bills, so double fuck him

This is totally reasonable and no he couldn’t buy those same tickets himself and no I’m not taking any questions

/s

For those who haven’t read it, it will cost the taxpayer more because he’d need more security if he was sitting in a different seat