Green hat

Put all of Larry into a room with Luigi

Remember that if you can see something that obvious, imagine all the quiet changes people are making that aren’t being immediately found. Not only the deliberate horseshit from musk and his facsy tots, but other attempts to distort data from traditional bad actors like China and Russia

A savvy consumer, glad you mentioned. Felt better than hitting it on the nose.

Something something… Only phone number I remember is your mother’s phone number (Implying that is for when I’m calling her to arrange a session of sexual intercourse, that she willingly and enthusiastically participates in).

Corporations and politicians: “oh great news everyone… It worked. Time to kick off phase 2…”

• Replace all the water trump wasted in California with brawndo
• Sell mortgages for eggs, but call them patriot pods
• Welcome to Costco, I love you
• All medicine replaced with raw milk enemas
• Handjobs at Starbucks
• Ow my balls, Tuesdays this fall on CBS
• Chocolate rations have gone up from 10 to 6
• All government vehicles are cybertrucks
• trump nft cartoons on all USD, incest legal, Ivanka new first lady.
• Public executions on pay per view, lowered into deep fried turkey fryer on white house lawn, your meat is then mixed in with the other mechanically separated protein on the Tyson foods processing line (run exclusively by 3rd graders) and packaged without distinction on label.
• FDA doesn’t inspect food or drugs. Everything approved and officially change acronym to F(uck You) D(umb) A(ss)

Next up is Tim apple announcing his conversion therapy was successful and that he will now be marrying a blonde fox news anchor on the white house lawn. He’ll then run for Lindsey Graham’s senate seat and carry on the tradition of being the most closeted man in the Senate… And the world.

When Lindsey Graham was asked who his first lady would be should he ever win the presidency, he replied… “My sister”.

Just can’t take those swinging bachelors off the market… one at a time ladies.

Large corporate farmers maybe (you’ve provided no support to your claim). In my experience though (a decade in fine dining, with direct relationships to many market farmers) there are more small farmers without their heads up their asses. They understand how they are being fucked with water rights, climate change and no right to repair. While nobody is doing enough on these things currently, they recognize that trump is gasoline on the fire that disrupts their lives.

If anything, Venmo is a competitor of PayPal.

PayPal… owns Venmo?

Again, you are weird to spend energy defending semantics around this corporation… are you okay, bud? Temporarily embarrassed millionaire?

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

Person who doesn’t exist: “…we will never be able to repay you, subscription emergency warning system”

CEO: “We are going to make sure that isn’t true. You’ll repay us and then some. Don’t worry.”"

PayPal was acquired by Ebay for 1.5 billion in stock. Group that benefitted from that transactionmost already included musk, thiel, etc. They are intrinsically tired together forever. You also see PayPal as an option for all transactions in eBay, the very recent addition of alternative options, after decades of socializing people on PayPal as the default option doesn’t change much.

Imagine your side of this “argument” being the hill someone dies on… I sure hope you’re a bot, because otherwise you seem a pretty sad, confused human

Maybe we just throw an ad on the windshield… Like a little one… Off to the side?

Depends on which function you want to replace?

You operate under the false premise that people think this is about binary choice, it’s not. The shades of gray matter here. Again, as I stated, perfection isn’t the goal, it is how much of an effort you make to consciously navigate the bullshit we are forced to live within, while also hopefully working to fix the larger broken systems somehow in your lifetime. Progress, not perfection.

You very baldly read as extremely selfish and again, you performatively forgive yourself in public forums so you don’t have to try. You sound like a professional victim. Start listening to those rogue thoughts at night when you’re staring at the ceiling, the ones that tell you you might be completely full of shit, they are on to something…

Oh boy… Look up peter thiel, elon musk and david sacks to start - three stains on humanity working very actively to end it as we speak. They were the basin founding faces of PayPal (I mean, I think musk came on after the fact or was pushed out early or something, continuing the trend of him never actually creating anything). Currently they are alll very active in the trump admin - two with officially appointed positions, one in the shadows. Vance is also created by thiel. Look up that “Dark Gothic maga” video (musk’s stupid name) that’s been shared often recently.

Then separately, PayPal owns Honey, and it turns out has been scamming millions, maybe billions away from online creators for years, probably some of your favorites included in that list. Active lawsuit ongoing - look up legal eagle’s video maybe as a start.

All these billionaire fucks made their fortunes through Paypal and still likely hold stock and maybe board positions, can’t recall?

The nazis weren’t as competent and intelligent as you suggest, that work was outsourced to IBM - Yes, that IBM.

You know that Watson product that IBM sells and advertises so often? R one that plays chess and was on jeopardy (Fun!) Turns out that Watson was the name of the dude that signed off on them accelerating the Holocaust for the nazis. Some believe the nazis couldn’t have been nearly as efficient at unrepentant large scale murder without IBM joining the fray, yet they skate on by…

Wrong time to put money into government…

Last word