Perrin42

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=now+don%27t+start+that+again+gif&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia1.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FYWaPXgx082x9MHW2kv%2Fgiphy.gif

I actually have some USB-A to USB-C cables from DeWalt with reversible USB-A connectors. Certainly no reason other companies couldn’t have built them that way.

I loved that scene with Garibaldi.

Their secret “red ranch” sauce is especially good.

Check out Firewalla Gold. I think it would meet all of your requirements.

The Firewalla is pricey but amazing. I am running the Gold at home, and it runs Linux and supports Dockers so I’m running PiHole on the router.