Cap

Falls are the leading cause of injury-related death among adults ages 65 and older, and the fall death rate is increasing. [CDC]

I see a few options open to us when we reach 65:

1. Avoid all stairs
2. Stay seated at all times
3. Wear a fat suit to cushion any fall
4. If you’re already fat, carry on about your day and enjoy peace of mind should you fall
5. Live in a pool
6. Adopt a Hutt lifestyle

The probability that a monkey would throw its shit against the wall and have it look exactly like Shakespeare is, on the other hand, extremely likely in our lifetime.

Sounds like the hamster wants out.