Triple bacon cheeseburger with onion rings?

Always quit while you’re ahead

This is why you recycle your gently used sex dolls

After the 15th time people started getting suspicious

Hey, leave curling out of this

Your resignation letter should have just said “Now I’m about to roll”

And have my dick fall off? No thanks

I liked when they told you to turn to a different page and took you on a little adventure

I never knew I needed this

1. Neither of your scenarios are murder. They are both manslaughter, for which negligence must be demonstrated.
2. Both murder and manslaughter must be committed against a person, which an embryo is not

Which cities did you move from and to?

What were you listening to?

The real life pro tip is in the comments